When I Die I Want to Be Infused Back Into the Earth

I said two tea drinkers       in the middle of the road
& I lied     it was actually me    on the curb staring
at roadkill    the size and shape      of a dried plum.
agony was kind     of like meditation &         up on the tarmac
a heart beats            to the tune of a carburetor
keeps asking me what I’ve seen     for me to be this
scared all the time & I don’t know whose heart it is
& I don’t know whose heart it is.